Comments on: On Jealousy

By: Mike Jennings

Mike Jennings — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 16:52:45 +0000

I’m sorry I offended you. I actually didn’t mean to imply that you were foolishly revealing your address at all — quite the opposite! I was using you as an example of someone who is consciously tagging — aware and in control of what she’s revealing — in order to contrast you against someone who is unwittingly geotagging their photos with the witless precision of an electronic device.

In short, it’s exactly because you’re smart and in control (and that they’re self-portraits, not landscapes) that I used your photos as an example. Besides, I like your self-portraits.

By: ladykingslyk

ladykingslyk — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 05:42:31 +0000

HEAR!HEAR! I whole-heartedly agree. I have been blessed to have been in a long lasting relationship in which there has been a great amount of trust and virtually no jealousy. I feel that if you have trust in your s.o. that they will not stray, no amount of flirtation on another’s part should cause harm to your relationship. In a sense, if they truly love you they will not stray. If they do stray, the relationship was doomed to begin with.

By: Peter

Peter — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:02:29 +0000

Yes and no.

Jealousy is the irrational expression of a rational realization of the loss of control one has when one opens up in a relationship. It’s not in and of itself good, but the underlying realizations can lead to positive moves once the irrational is surmounted.

It’s akin to religion-based xenophobia. We take relationships on faith, just as we do our spiritual belief, so when a new and conflicting idea/really hot cutie wanders into the equation our faith, be it in some superior power, in a transcendental oversoul or in our companion’s unwillingness to crush our heart like a grape under a combat boot, is tested. And really, we don’t know what will happen. We believe, but we don’t know, and even when one is pretty damn sure about things that’s not comfortable. (I say this as one of little faith and massive control issues…thanks, Dad.)

Just like religion, one can deal with it a number of ways. People of rock solid faith don’t see the threat of the hottie/competing belief system, and are seemingly beyond jealousy/religious anxiety. In actuality they merely lack the imagination to be worried. Many people see the threat of the hottie/competing belief system, feel the jealousy/religious anxiety, and freak out. And that would be a significant portion of Reagan/Bush/McCain voters. Islamophobes, homophobes, and the jerks who forbid their spouses from hanging out with anyone perceived as a threat. I’d like to think I’m beyond that, but I feel the twinge every once and a while. I remind myself the only thing I can do is be a damn good husband and partner for my wife, and maybe I’ll buy her flowers just for the hell of it.

Like religious faith, a relationship devoid of threat is empty. If there is no doubt, faith is a meaningless gesture. It’s knowledge, and mere science. If there’s no doubt in a relationship…well, you’re living with a blow-up doll, not a partner, and why value that?

I’m just rambling here. If any of this makes sense it’s a random concurrence of organic matter and not the product of a higher consciousness.